Lame Attempt At Getting My Friend Zoe To Come Out For A Few Drinks The Other Day
Me: You really should.
Zoe: I really, really can't.
Me: You're a wuss.
Me: Why not?
Zoe: Because I have to play netball and finish a 2,500 word essay.
Me: We can find you a substitute for netball. Does it have to be a female netball player?
Me: I'll pay a wino to take your place. You may have to give him a back rub later though.
Me: I'll write your essay for you.
Zoe: 2,500 words?
Zoe: It's about Isadora Duncan. What do you know about Isadora Duncan?
Zoe: You're lying. You don't even know who she is.
Me (defensively) : I do so.
Zoe: Go on.
Me: She...was the founder of Dunkin' Donuts?
Zoe: Not even close.